Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
