Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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