sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
