At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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