Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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