i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
