he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
