Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
