is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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