There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
a search helicopter?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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