The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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