I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
