I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize