Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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