Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
