I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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