All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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