He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
