First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
