How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
