I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
