Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
