let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
