no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
