this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize