he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
