guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
