woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
