she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
