eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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