He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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