when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
