Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
