i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
