I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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