Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's never too late to be topless.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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