after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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