I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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