I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
