he thought i was a dude.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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