the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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