His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
