I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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