i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
