Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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