I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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