She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
