Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize