ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
