my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
