i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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