4 words: hood of his car
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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