I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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