it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
