we're blogging at a bar
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
