we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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