I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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