so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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