when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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