people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
