you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
