Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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