You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
