I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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