I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
