I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think my moral compass just broke
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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