he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
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I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize